The Christmas of '74
by PrincessAlica
Summary: Scarlett and her children face a Christmas without Rhett and Bonnie.


Author – PrincessAlica

December 2010

Setting – December 1874, Atlanta

Disclaimer – I do not own the characters of Gone With the Wind, nor is any copyright infringement intended. No money is being made from this work of fiction. The storyline belongs to me… unless the Stevens Mitchell Trust wants to pay me for it, and then I am totally game.

There was frost etching the windows as Scarlett stared out into the darkness of the predawn morning. Here is was Christmas morning, and yet again she had spent another night tossing and turning only to finally be wakened by her own screams of fright. God how she hated the holidays!

This year was no different than the last. Wade and Ella pretended that they didn't not hear her screams any longer. It was something that no one in the house dared to mention. And yet Scarlett was not foolish to think that the strain had not aged her in the passing sleepless nights. The silent specter of time shrouded her, and she had aged a great deal in a short span of time. As much as she would like to deny it, she had even detected a silver strand among the dark locks of her hair. The last two years had not been kind.

But she hated that the children were suffering because of her. She hated that they too had lost everyone that they felt loved by. Although she loved them in some distant offhanded manner, she was not the person that they craved. The wanted comforting from Rhett or Melanie or Mammy, and yet none of them were there. Their cold and distant mother was the only person left to them.

Scarlett rose wearily from the plush settee to rearrange the gifts stacked underneath the tree. As much as she knew that Wade and Ella weren't comfortable around her, she couldn't help but want them to have a good Christmas. How differently her life had turned out from what she had dreamed.

But she had already arranged and rearranged the gifts many times to pass the minutes until the sun would rise. She hated the darkness, finding that the only bits of restful sleep that she could snatch would be while the sun was still visible in the sky. There was nothing to do, heaven knows she had no patience to read or do needle work to pass the time. At least the darkness outside the window was lessening. The dawn would soon arrive.

She returned to her previous perch to wait, rubbing with care at her temples where a pounding ache throbbed. She squinted her eyes shut and pulled her legs up under her dressing gown before leaning forward to curl into a ball. It wouldn't be long before the children's footsteps would thunder down the steps, and she would hear them before they stepped foot in the room.

She awakened to see the children peering anxiously at the packages under the tree. They knew the rules of the house well enough to not break them, but she could see that they were desperate to open the gifts. She softly cleared her throat.

Ella jumped at the sound " Oh, Mother, we didn't mean to wake you. We were trying so hard to be quiet."

Wade started to speak, Scarlett assumed pleading his own innocence in the matter. "Hush, you didn't wake me. And if you did, it is probably for the best. I needed to be wakened. And beside it is Christmas. I'm sure that you can't wait to see what St. Nicholas brought for you."

Wade smiled indulgently at his mother. "Mother, we know that there is no St. Nicholas. I've known for years. I just didn't want to disappoint you."

Ella smiled weakly, "I knew last year that he wasn't real. If he was things would be different. St. Nicholas would have brought me what I wanted instead of toys that I don't need."

Scarlett stared at her children, her mouth gaping slightly opened at her children's admission. But why did you think that it would disappoint me?"

Ella looked at Wade furtively, "because Bonnie still believed and we didn't want to take it from you after everything that happened last year."

"Ella, you shouldn't be worried about things like that. I wish you could only think of the gifts you want in your stockings and under the tree."

Wade stepped between his mother and sister. "Mother, just understand that we pretended just as you did for our sake."

Scarlett's attention turned to her son. "So when did you learn the truth then?"

"During the war, while we were at Tara. I was so little, but I remember. Uncle Frank was there that night and I didn't want a toy. I wanted candy, candy like…" he stuttered for a moment, clearly trying avoid something, "well I'd only had candy a few times, but I wanted candy, I wanted something to eat, and the next morning nothing had changed. I guess I was old before my years, because having lived through war, poverty, and famine, gifts under the tree didn't mean so much. And then after we moved to Atlanta, you tried to pretend again about St. Nicholas and even then I couldn't tell you that I knew. You seemed so happy to pretend." Wade eyes held a trace of unshed tears which he pretended were not there.

"I'm sorry Wade. I'm sorry for everything." Scarlett said hanging her head in shame.

Ella stared at her mother in horror, "I almost wish that you would yell at me again like you used to. I think I'd rather be yelled at than watch you cry." She added with a wisdom beyond her years. "And I know that Uncle Rhett isn't coming back."

At the mention of Rhett's name, something sparkled to life in Scarlett's eyes before burning to ashes once again. "Why don't you both go ahead and open the gifts. The servants will have breakfast ready to serve soon."

They enjoyed a quiet holiday as a family, just the three of them, for there was no one left to join them. The servants had outdone themselves with the food this year. But it was wasted on so small a gathering. For long moments watching her children, she felt that there were at least still some things right with the world, even if they were all that she could ever make things right with.

After the children fell asleep Scarlett crept back down to the Christmas tree, knowing in her heart that nothing had changed, nor would it ever. This time with Wade and Ella was the best that she would ever get for she had thrown everything else away with both of her hands. The candles had been carefully extinguished, and the unlit tree stood silently, bearing nothing on its branches left to give.

"What a mess I've made of things. I had everything, and now I have next to nothing. Why was I such a fool?" She couldn't resist asking the empty room, willing that somehow, she would find a satisfactory answer, knowing that no answer was to be found. She stared blankly at the tree until her eyes slowly slipped closed. Her body sagged against the sofa, and she drifted into a deep, dreamless sleep.

There was a heavenly sensation of floating, as if she was being carried away to a better place. This dream was wonderful, but her eyes popped open as she heard the deep rumble of laughter. Had her Christmas dream finally, truly come true?


End file.
